Sunday Musings

often u wonder what if..
but never do u remember what is..
today i have no work
but i am glad i feel the sun to soak
today i feel depressed and sad
but there have been so many days when i 've been glad
today i wish things were better off
but then it could have been more rough..
today life could have been so much better
but remember there were times even worser.
today i want some clarity in my mind
but what about the many woes I've left behind!
Today i wish i could see my mother
but when i was with her it was such a bother.
Today i wish i was  carefree and with no strings.
but wont i miss the loving clings:)
life has its own process and plans
understand that nothings in your hands!!

Some days bring with them such gloom that it lingers long after the day is gone and over. Yesterday was one such day..March  16 2014..I got an early morning message about the demise of a dear ex-colleague .After the initial shock,denial, confirmation,reconfirmation finally it dawned on me that indeed he is no more! A life snatched away too soon...lyrically put..Gone too soon!                                                                                  Melvin was one of the first few people whom i felt comfortable talking to after i relocated from Bangalore. His joie de vivre was infectious to say the least. Nothing seemed impossible for him, nothing seemed too tough to handle, no problem hard enough to ponder,no issue tough enough to be unresolved. He believed he could set things right even when things were at its lowest ebb.I couldn't figure out how but he always had that comforting thought to share with all of us. "Kartein hai kuch apan" !! that's what he always said and boy was that a relief to hear during the stress out work schedule.
I wonder now if the days at work would have been more tedious if it was not for his constant blabbers.I wonder if working in that stress day in day out would have taken a toll on me if it was not for the many moments i used to unwind,chatting with him on varied issues ranging from politics,Hindi songs ,movies,et al. He was a person who could talk to anybody for hours on any given topic and i presume he would somehow manage to steer the conversation to the topics close to his heart so that he could talk for hours. I was amazed to see the comfort and camaraderie which few of the banks customers shared with him,like he was another member of their family. I wonder if those long arduous late hours would have broken me down if it was not for the music he played on his "fire-walled" computer! I wonder if i would have stayed hungry if it was not for his drawer full of goodies and munchies in office.He could break through the most strongest fire wall installed in the office computers and browse all that he wanted to,even download songs in the office computer! He was there around you always saying that he cared without saying it aloud.
He was a good boss to work for and i say this because i never felt like a subordinate working with him. He empowered me to take my own decisions and would happily intervene only if i requested him to.He believed in letting people grow on their own,not policing them at every step.Well he did face brick bats for that attitude but what the hell,that has helped me put perspective to the role of a boss.The short association I had with him has already given me loads of memories. Alas,it ironic that all that is left of you Melvin are memories...and as far as I am concerned they are definitely fond memories! Rest in heavenly peace my friend. Will miss you.

RIP....Melvin

5 things i miss doing...

1)hangout with friends every evening

2)eat out at the most fancy restaurant in town

3)Shop at designer outlets

4)icecreams at corner house

5)long drives!!

Notorious November

Now as if theres not enough blame game already that I get another agent to blame...the month itself!!!November seems to be jinxed month..first it was 9/11 and now it is 26/11...
What a watershed day in our lifetime..for me this carnage is nothing short of the Jallianwalabagh massacre..pre-independece era ..where innocents were sprayed with bullets..no aim taken justa thousand bullet showers..the day we now immortalize through our history books.

I have been following this episode religiously whenever possible, hearing to all the debates and discussion,reading all thats written in print...i can feel the deep sense of hurt amongst us this time...we are definitely not going to take this episode lying down low...
Just yesterday there was a discussion on TV with an ex Chief of naval staff and he told one line which is the essence of all the mayhem...Nobody takes India seriously, we give an impression of being a soft target ..anyone one can just trample over us and we still put the pieces together,get up and continue living...
Why dont we get the reins in our control!!!we need to be like Israel who does not follow any protocol...they follow the tit for tat rule..you bomb me once i shall bomb you back!! I guess some people will probably understand the langauge of war better than that of a civilized dialogue..
Intellectuals still believe the peace process between Pakistan and India must continue..we have no choice...I however think we must now start to look at US as our serious ally and together put international pressure on our stubborn neighbour!!!Look how soon the lashkar mstermind was arrested!!! what were they thinking all this while not arresting him....where they planning to confer him with the highest civilian award..Morons!!They have the audacity to call the Mumbai attacks as a drama on thier national Tv..i happened to see an episode of their TV program where the buffoon of an anchore claims the incident as a political drama just before elections..they have the cheek to call the arrested terrorist as an Indian national and thats not all..they claim none of those captured on Tv look like Pakistanis..I mean what are they saying...you look at a person and pass judgement in such a grave situation..shame on the media..blasphemous indeed!!
Now the question.. how can we citizens make a diffence..the media has done a phenomenonal job by taking the awareness campaign and keeping the fire burning even after the incident...many forums peace marches etc have started which in its small way shows us that we are not going to lie down and take this anymore...

Just recently i came to know that as per the law we can chose not to vote by exercising our vote...meaning..we can meet the polling officer, get the voters mark and still refuse to vote cause we do not belive the people standing for the elections are the right candidates...i mean thats a great way to shwo the door to the many dacoits/robbers/murderes who get a ticket to stand for elections..i need to figure out the authencity of this rule and if in reality its there i think we young people must exercise our vote by "not voting" for the wrong candidate!!It will definitely make the difference.
Lastly a million Congratulations to the brave men of NSG/military and police who put their lives in the line of fire to save ours...and believe me the latest footage which was released from Taj shows these brave hearts going behind those AK -47 wielding gunmen with mere pistols to keep them engaged as long as they could so that the trained personnel could come over and take the battlefield..It was war indeed..something which will go down in history as a milestone..an episode so gruesome that by now it has become a training manual for security personal in our country.

QUE SERA SERA...

These have been among the few of my alltime favorite lines ..and i tend to relate this line" que sera sera..whatever will be will be..the furture's not ours to see.." with a lot many incidents in my life ...at the various pitstops life had to offer...but the past month was defintely a life changing one in all respects...
Life will never be the same for me..although i often tell myself the futures not ours to see...if i could have turned back time i would have written dec16 2007 a lot more differently..i know its difficult to come to terms with such a huge loss...not everyday do u wake up to a thud..which will change your life...now everyday i wake up to the feeling of such a vacuum...a feeling which gnaws me deep inside...yet i have to tell myself life continues..everything has a purpose..this one had its own too..although it just does not make any sense to me yet!! God help me see that purpose soon!!
Daddy i wish you could have been around till probably your tooth fell off or something..wasnt it to hasty a good bye????

monday blues...

I hate mondays like so many others...waiting for that day when this feeling will not overpower you sooooo badly!!!